17 weeks



17 weeks… Honestly, where is the time going?

Well anyway, I thought I would add a couple of shots of the belly – although the skin one looks bigger it isn’t I had to crop loads out so its just zoomed in more.

So when I spoke to the midwife she said that the reason I have a belly already is because my uterus has moved up. She was surprised about how quick it had move and how far up it was for how far gone I am. And hence the whale like proportions already!!

I figure that I can’t have much room inside me and that’s why it’s moving so quick. My mum barely showed at all because she has such deep hips 3 weeks before she was due to give birth people were only just telling that she was pregnant!! But I was breach apparently!

So what else has happened symptom wise:

1. I had a hormonal surge which turned me into a monster for about 36 hours – poor wife – nuff said!

2. Had some ridiculous cravings for curry and ate it a lot…! I even considered it for breakfast one day. When I started thinking it was a good idea to put grated cheese on top I scalded myself and promptly gave up eating it!

3. The headaches days and days of headaches

4. The belly button change – now it hasn’t popped I have a very deep set button (or inny whatever u call it) and I’m not sure it will pop out but it has certainly started to go quishy and change! That’s the best description I have at the minute!

5. Sciatic bloody nerve. I’ve been referred for physio and currently waddle like I’m in the third trimester! I’m not – I’m just in pain! A lot of pain.

6. The left hand side – of my WHOLE body is starting to fall apart – my knee is agony my foot is excruciating. I’m guessing all linked to the sciatic nerve.

7. Boobs – I thought the boob ache was over but apparently they are STILL growing – I had to buy another bra today one that is TWO cup sizes up from my original size 😦 and was slightly depressing if I’m honest.

8. Popping – so the midwife said that because my uterus had moved already I may feel something sooner than later… I’m not so sure because I’m only 17 weeks and the average is 18-22…. That being said, I have felt some funny things this week hard to describe… But…. You know when u have gas and u feel a bubble sort of role and pop, well it felt a bit like that… I didn’t have gas at the time… So I am not sure. I was expecting “butterfly’s” as that what everyone says it feels like… This felt more like having my stomach squeezed on the inside!

9. I brought a pregnancy yoga video, which hasn’t turned up yet, but will do hopefully tomorrow, and I booked on to an aquanatal class starting the end of the month- and brought a swimming costume. I need to do something active I’m going nuts here. Going for dog walks with my friend 3 times a week isn’t cutting it.

10. Baby brain – I can’t remember shit. Not a thing. And my head is seriously full, of fuzz and static, I can’t put anything else new into it.

That’s it, I can’t think of any more updates so I will post again shortly!!

Pregnancy Fear


Something all pregnant women experience. Whether about ‘being a mum’ or being ready or having the right things and breast feeding. We all worry and are fearful about something.

But, and I hope that my infertility friends out there agree. There is something about us women with issues that changes this fear.

It becomes an all consuming, infestation of fear. It eats away at our positivity, our happiness and leaves us with a putrid rotting mess of fear and worries.

Even when we do get that BFP, we panic until we have seen a scan, with two weeks till your next scan you ride a wave of joy for a week until the fear virus erodes away at your excitement until your a quivering nervous wreck again at your next scan convinced something bad has happened and your babies been taken away.

I have the virus. I have the fear. My 12 week scan is on Friday, 5 days away, and I am terrified to look at the screen terrified something will have happened.

I have fleeting panics about ‘silent’ miscarriages because my sister in law had one. Moments of mental anxiety so severe I swear my heart will start will bleed with fear.

With every disappearing symptom I convince myself its not because that’s to be expected nearing the end of the first trimester but because something bass happened.

We dislike the symptoms but they are a reassurance. A comfort knowing your bodies responding to the baby growing.

I have one small comfort, I developed a new symptom the other night, a persistent sour taste that won’t go away. It’s gross but I know it’s a good sign, so I’m clinging desperately to it hoping it will provide me some kind of antibiotic to my fear virus.

I just need Friday to come and the doctors to give me the all clear.

I have everything crossed.


Projectile Sach

Morning sickness… That delightful reminder your carrying your child….

As you cling to what’s left of breakfast, lunch or dinner. You try desperately to console yourself knowing that “it’s a good sign” you try not to feel sorry for yourself or ask yourself why your doing it all! Because you know deep down it will all be worth it.

But today… Took morning sickness to some seriously ridiculous heights.

I like to think of the sickness as puke contractions… The familiar waves building stronger and stronger until your ready to heave ho out your last meal…

Well my puke contractions started towards the end of my last meeting at work. I could feel the sweat start to trickle down my back as I knew what was going to happen. I made a hasty retreat out of the meeting and threw my belongings into my bag running for the lift to the car park…

The lift… Or the torture ride…. Jumping and bouncing its way to the ground floor.

When I got to the door I ran to the car and ripped the door open crouching by it wretching for England. Nothing came up… So I tentatively got into the car and drive home.

About three quarters of the way home I felt the strongest wave of nausea I had had yet. I tried desperately to distract myself reeling off ridiculous word associations trying to think of anything other than puking whilst driving.

I skidded into the drive (ok not skidded, but pulled up fast) and left everything in the car running for my dear friend Mr. toilet.

I couldn’t get the key in the door properly, and the wretching began again, I ripped open the door as the key turned and dived head first into the toilet.

I have never experienced sickness like it. I genuinely thought I was going to suffocate. I threw up so many times in repetition I ran out of air and couldn’t breathe. Gasping for breath between hurls I gripped my temple as the pressure being forced through my head and eyes was unbearable. I really thought I might have burst something in my eye. But I couldn’t stop being sick I had absolutely no control over this violent projectile sickness.

Eventually I stopped throwing up, but I was clinging to the toilet seat shaking and gasping for air for a good few minutes. When I looked in the mirror I discovered that I had burst something but luckily not in my eye, but in my face. Lots and lots of tiny blood vessels burst and have me a nice puke rash all over my face!

So now, I am spotty, bloated, covered in a rash, sick and exhausted!

But it will be worth it… It will right?! ;p