‘Writers Fear’ is real, I have it.
I reached a point of self doubt and self loathing and fear of failure, and its sucking me dry. I am at a point in the planning where I ought to be making definitive decisions, or at least my brain is telling me that I should. I have got quite far through, but have the last hard slog of final character plotting, and deciding what happens in which chapter, but instead of doing it and getting on with it, I have been paralysed with fear.
I cant seem to do anything. I am finding excuses for not writing in the studio… some reasonable, like the fact I don’t have a stool high enough to fit the table, but the point is I am procrastinating, I am afraid that I might run out of ideas and not be able to finish the planning, I am really afraid of that and it’s making me stall, preventing me from being productive, or from doing anything… at all.
I cant decided how much planning is too much, and more importantly, it’s a frightening though that if I do finish the planning then I actually need to sit down and write it, and what if I can’t?
Despite all these, I am aching to crack on and to start writing, but I refuse to write anything until all the planning is done. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to write novels simultaneously!!