NaNoWriMo – The Dirty Truth


Writing a Novel has always been on my list of to do’s in life. Ok, its top of the list, but it just never happened. I was too busy being sucked into planning to actually ever get any words down so I decided to suck it up, and get on with it. As a first timer to NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) feel free to correct me if I’m wrong. But this is how I see it:

Week 1: And we’re off… The thrill of NaNo, everyone’s ahead. Loving life, love NaNo. Chat NaNo, talk NaNo, bore people to death with NaNo, have no problems with plot, structure or characters, on a role, “I can do this shit” euphoria. Taptaptaptaptaptap, burn taptaptap still buzzing, shovel sugar in, tell EVERYONE about it some more, chatter chatter excitement excitement more sugar.

Week2: We’re riding the high, riding the high, riding the high….. put on 2lbs in sugar and chocolate – thats ok, its only 2lbs, can lose it after. Riding the high of NaNo….


Writers block, unblocked, blocked again, Shovel more chocolate in to cure depressive writers mentality. Self criticise. Stupid NaNo. Suddenly remember why you started the challenge, tap tap tap, chocolate, crisps, hate on work for getting in the way of writing, tap tap.  Feel the burn, feel the slump, can’t do it any more, for the love of god why did I start this… Stupid idea. Hate my story anyway, It’s shit, I’m shit. Row with the husband/wife/partner for writing too much and not talking to you despite their full support at the beginning of the month. Tap tap, Oh I made it to the end of week 2.

Week 3: NaNOOOOOOOOOO burn, exhaustion, head cold, sore throat, RSI, Neck ache, back ache, everything fucking ache, chocolate, ready meals, ready meals, more ready meals too busy writing, forget to bath the kid, put on another 3lbs, HATE my book, but come too fucking far to stop. Someone says something annoying on stupid forums, hate them, hate work, fight the urge to throw laptop, throw something else instead, fight the urge to delete story, tap tap tap, tap tap tap, I’m behind (hate life), I’m ahead (love my story), I’m behind (hate life), I’m at par (thank god for that), tap tap tap, I’m behind (fuck my life).  More chocolate, seen midnight every night this week, I’m ahead, oh its the end of week three…. Love my story.

Week 4: Baring in mind we’re not there yet, here’s how I am hoping it goes:

Oh My God, It’s the start of the last week. SHIT it’s the start of the last week, WAIT…. it’s the start of the last week…. it’s nearly over…. I CAN DO IT…. burn, more chocolate more sweets, M.U.S.T. keep typing, tap tap tap, late night writing, lunch break writing, writing on my phone in the work toilets, writing on the train, writing sentences in meetings on my notebook. Feeling the burn, can see the light, just three more days, tap tap tap, love my book, tell everyone how close you are to finishing, tap tap, chat about NaNo, love my story…. one more day, tap tap I can DOOOO IT.

MADE IT MADE IT MADE IT. Thank god its over I’m never doing it again…..

335 days later… Repeat cycle.


Tactical Chunder

7 weeks pregnant.

I have reverted back to my teenage days. I am a spotty lesbian! My back and boobs are covered in spots 😦 and I have major hormone rage!! Everyone is pissing me off!

I still have sore MASSIVE boobies, thankfully the exhaustion is wearing off a little but….

Morning sickness has well and truly hit.

Because no one knows I find myself having to do tactical chunders as we used to call them at Uni!

Secretly puking and carrying on the night! Except now it’s day time and I have to do it so no one can see!!

We were at a friends house warming party last night and it got pretty late, I could feel a wave of nausea pummelling my insides. I gave the wife the knowing look suggesting that now would be a good time to leave, but she didn’t quite get the message cause she was having such a good time. After some furious leg tapping and a few more sharp looks she reluctantly got up to leave.

We had barely got out of there drive when I was making her pull into the roadside so I could lean out of the car door and tactically throw up by the kerbside grass.

Again today on the way up to my mums we were in stop start traffic and I was starving. Hunger combined with some dodgy clutch work resulted in the wife once again having to pull over so I could hurl my inside up all over some motorway grass….

The wife says she can tell when I’m not feeling so hot because I turn a funny shade of greeny white!!

I can’t wait for the scan on Wednesday. I have been really trying hard not to google anything but I read somewhere that once you have a scan with the heart beat and everything looks normal and you reach 7ish weeks the chance of miscarriage drops significantly and keeps doing so week by week… So I think it will help me to relax quite a bit if we get the all clear on the scan 🙂

Fingers crossed