rainbow family

Spermy, Spermy, Sperms!

more sperm

 

This is quite possibly the most exciting personal post I have written in a while. The posts about my life and memoirs seem to be getting rarer, but this blog was created originally as a memoir, so I refuse to let go of that side completely, no matter how much it’s evolved, so sorry to all the folk out there who signed up to read all about writing, this ones a memoir.

A long time ago, I was told I probably wouldn’t be able to have children. It’s a long story, but it ended up in me falling pregnant rather quickly and a hasty retreat by the fertility clinic.

Thankfully we managed to get pregnant, and nine extremely long months later, and 3.5 days of excruciating labour, baby Black was born. The best year of my life followed, and a difficult decision about sperm.

The wife and I thus far haven’t really wanted another child. Not for any other reason than, we need to pay off the cost of the first baby, and buy a house to make sure we can provide for him first before having another one.

We have spent a long time discussing whether having another one would suit us, and our family. We bickered a lot to start with, but I guess that’s normal for most couples. As time has gone on we have continued to learn lots of parenting lessons and are continually growing together on our journey.

Deciding whether to save sperm for another child has been a topic of much contention. It’s difficult trying to predict what we might or might not want to do in a few years time.

Of course, even if we didn’t save sperm we could have another child using another donor, but if the option is there to use the same donor, we are both in agreement that we would prefer to use them.

So we came to a cross road… To save or not to save? It’s an extremely costly affair saving sperm. To save enough for three attempts it’s a whopping £1000 for three years, and another £300 every three years to continue to have it stored.

BUT, we decided to save some, just in case. I am not saying we will have any more kids, as at the minute neither of us can see it happening, however, we are trying to protect our options, ensure that we aren’t taking our choices away and making a decision about how we will feel in 5 or 6 years time.

So there we have it… Very exciting news, the Black’s have a bank… a bank of sperm! (can’t help but giggle like a child about this!) But SHHHHH! It’s a secret!

 

Forget terrible twos, why didn’t anyone tell me about the terrible ten months?

As I promised, this would be a blog of two halves, partly about my life as a mum, writer, and worker bee, and partly about writing, and my quest to get published.

So, this is a motherhood post.

Everybody knows about the terrible twos, how truly awful they are with screaming tantrums and public paddies.

giphy child

Hideously embarrassing and the phase I suspect most parents dread in young children. BUT SERIOUSLY…. why did no one tell me about the horrific change that happens at ten months? My son is now ten and a half approaching eleven months, and it was like an alien literally took over his body and possessed his previously calm temperament.

Nappy changing is simply an impossibility without an army of spare hands, arms and legs to pin your gremlin of a child in place while you change them. Ok, so distraction occasionally works too, but not as well as it used to! He now likes to pitch an absolute bitch of a screaming fit, when I get him dressed, try and do his teeth, or anything that even remotely changes his current situation.

In spite of the fact I’ve read a million mum blogs, help sites read books and compared notes with a hundred friends, it kind of doesn’t matter what they say or suggest because baby black, is just going to make life difficult his own way! When I find a solution I’ll report back!

 

Baby rooms

So we painted the babies room a cafe latte type colour – pretty neutral – but you can’t really tell from the photos, ive tried to add a photo of the colour from a website….and we added the vinyl tree and a billion teal leaves this evening…. Just family photos to go! I think the words are just lovely 🙂

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Pregnancy is a pain in the solar plexus

chakra-SOLARPLEXUS

For someone who rarely gets ill, and soldiers through when she does, I am having a spectacularly bad year. It has been ailment after ailment, and today I have had enough.

I don’t want anyone to think I am ungrateful for this pregnancy, I most certainly am not. However, I have been in pain of one variety or another for the best part of this year.

I ended last year and started this year with tooth ache from hell. I had an abscess on my tooth so big it touched my sinus causing  odema on my face and making me look hideous.

Then we had the issues with my ovaries and all the tests and depression that came with that.

When I finally fell pregnant, I had 3 weeks of sheer exhaustion so extreme I didn’t think I would ever wake up.

My breast so sore I thought they would fall off.

Then the morning sickness started

Followed by the most excruciating headaches I ever experienced.

Then a severe chest infection

More tooth ache followed by tooth removal.

indigestion from hell

and now my solar plexus…. I think the cartilage between my rib cage – primarily under my right breast, is inflamed.

I am in agonizing pain. I can’t sit, lie or walk without it hurting, take a few steps and I am out of breath.

I am exhausted, so worn out from being in constant pain, that today I broke down. Ive cried about 5 times, which is very very unlike me. But it hurts a lot. and everything I’ve read indicates that the pain wont go away until I give birth. I don’t know how I am going to get through it, I really don’t. Being in pain makes you so tired, I just want to sleep to stop feeling the pains.

But I am such a light sleeper, and it its so unbearably hot – and we Brits don’t have air con, so I am struggling to sleep too. 😦

Sacha is sad today.

20 Week Scan

I said I would update you on the 20 week scan… and here I am.

Everything is normal and healthy – although the babies legs are a little on the short side. The sonographer said that they were in the normal range, but on the shorter end of normal. Both me and my mum have short legs, so this wasn’t a huge surprise. I figure, I grew to be normal height for a girl 5″5/6 so I figure this baby will too. Mum said I was short for a baby, but I am average height now. Also the donor was 6″3 so I am hoping that his genes will take over the height issue. Although my dad is not tall for a guy, only 5″7/8….

Anyway… Scans…

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Our novelty shot – the baby sticking its fingers up at us!!

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sat down legs out.

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sucking its thumb

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boxing pose.

So – as you can see – our baby is a wriggler, it didn’t stop moving the whole scan, and infact the sonographer complained that she couldn’t get a clear shot for the measurements because it wouldn’t stay still!

Explains all the jabs and pokes I have been feeling!!

Anyway… before I tell you what it is…. Lets have a vote…..

Who thinks its a girl, and who thinks it’s a boy?