public sector

Help wanted… Women’s Studies

A little plea for help today bloggers.

I am doing my dissertation on women’s management. Thats as far as I have got in determining a fixed dissertation question…. So I am wondering if anyone knows of any good websites/blogs/articles about any of the following that can help me form a question:

  • Gender differences in senior leadership or management
  • Women’s management
  • Glass ceiling issues
  • Pay inequalities
  • Differences in leadership styles
  • Gender inequalities in the work place

I have aleady done quite a lot of research, and have a number of articles to read, but I know that the bloggisphere and networking is a great chance to find cheeky articles that I might not have found myself, which will look fab when I reference them.

ALL help very very welcome.

Thanks Guys 🙂

Lesson 101 in how to demotivate someone

You can squash me,

You can beat me,

You can push me down,

But I will get up,

I will try again,

And I won’t give up,

One day when your tired,

When your broken,

And when you quit

I will triumph, I will stand proud, and I will win.

Sacha Black


What a ridiculous week.

I have never met a bunch of more miserable, bubble bursting, negative  people in my life. I know were in a recession but seriously, theres no need to make me miserable just because you are!

I met a senior manager recently who told me that I wouldn’t have a job in a few years time, that there wouldn’t be any money for managers or project managers like me. That we were facing hard times and more cuts were coming, they continued…

“realistically I ought to find a ‘proper profession'”

Thing is it was meant to be a motivating statement because they were trying to poach me into their department. Probably is, once I heard that they thought I wouldn’t have a career etc etc I kinda switched off.

Then a few days later I met my new mentor.


They asked me what my biggest challenges were at the moment. I said that in my previous job I was really passionate and enjoyed living to work. Whilst I understood that there was a balance to be had and that it wouldn’t always be like that, I wanted to still be passionate about what I was doing, and that I was struggling to find a niche in the job I am doing at the moment to be passionate about.

My mentor kindly told me that I needed a reality check because most people work to live and that I should probably get used to it.

I was utterly shocked that for someone who is supposed to mentor, coach and motivate someone that they could be so negative and pessimistic. I am not naive I know most people work to live, but for goodness sake you don’t have too.

Only you have control over your life and the direction you choose to take. People choose to stay in jobs they hate for a variety of reasons, but I am sorry that’s your choice. If you were really miserable then only you can make the change you need too, to do what makes you happy. I think it’s utter bollocks that I should expect to not be passionate about my job and expect to work to live. Bollocks.

Existentially bored.

Forget mid life crisis, I am having a mid twenty something post university, pre marriage existential crisis.

This blog (and many more in the same vein to come I imagine) were always coming, and in some senses the probably the foundation for why I am writing in the first place.

I am lost.

There I said it.

Once upon a time… I wanted to be an actress, then a psychiatrist, then a psychologist, then a doctor, then an academic, then a Vice Chancellor, then a politician. Then I got lost.

I took so many turns I got lost and tangled up in a big mess of Sacha, then I stopped following my dream.

Now I have forgotten what it was. Literally.

Existential Crisis

I am not asking for sympathy. I don’t need it. I am lucky, I am employed for a start, with the British economic climate in the shit state that it is I should be thankful; and I am. I have food and a roof, a loving partner and two adorable baby substitutes in the form of cats! Thats an awful lot more than most people in the world. So I am not complaining. I am aware that this is a first world problem. But it’s my crisis, and I am working on it!

Beside this feels more like pondering.

Technically I ought to be fortunate and grateful for the position I am in. I am on a pretty prestigious scheme and work towards being a manager over a couple of years, jump several pay packets and get more qualifications.

Thats all great.

But I am STILL bored.

I don’t cope well bored. I turn into one of those really annoying disruptive kids in school that everyone hated despite secretly finding really funny.

annoying, you know you shouldn't laugh, but you just can't help it!

Technically I have a direction. A public sector direction. BORED

I am a hardworking  tortured public sector bureaucrat (PSB).  Theres always lots of work to do. I don’t think anyone is really ever sure what that work is, there seems to be a general vague malaise that follows us PSBs around. Most of the time no one can come up with a real answer as to why they are doing something, or who it is thats going to read their work.

Classic example I spent 3 and a half working days writing a board report. Took the report to board, spent approximately 1.5 minutes in the board room and left again. No one had read the paper and it got passed anyway. Shocking really. But this isn’t a rant about the public sector.

Theres work, lots of it. But its BORING; and this is really my point.

I am not sure how one finds their purpose? I seem to be questioning everything.

(God, I am so middle aged. Aren’t I supposed to be out getting pissed and doing irresponsible things at the weekends and not questioning life?)

Starting with the obvious ‘where do we come from?’ I set myself the challenge of reading, the bible, the Koran, the Torah, and Chariot of the Gods by Erich Von Daniken.

The latter being one of the books describing an alternate history linked to alien visits and one of the books behind the film prometheus.

Anyway, not having a direction fucks you up! It changes everything.

How am I supposed to get up in the morning and ‘do’ life without a serious direction. I am wasting precious minutes and seconds with no core purpose, no challenge, no direction and no goal.


On the verge of mental anarchy and I pity the person I explode on.

I need a goal.

I am officially sending out an


I need to find a direction. It makes me want to vomit  and punch myself in the face to even say this; because I hate cliches, but, “I need to find myself”


Anyone with a quick fix will be my new have person! Answers on a postcard. Or alternatively posted below 😛