Writespiration

Writespiration #84 Just For Shits and Giggles

Play A GameLets play a game.

Wherever you’re sat, whatever you’re doing. Scan the vicinity for the nearest document/book/magazine etc you haven’t written. Pick it up.

If it’s a book turn to page 77,

If it’s a magazine or news paper turn to a page containing the number 3 (3, 13, 23 etc)

If it’s anything else turn to page 4.

Take the tenth, thirty-third and the last word, then pick the longest word you can find on the rest of the page.

Write a story or poem in less than 100 words containing all the words. AND I want to know what the words are when you post your story.

If you want to join in, leave your story in the comments or write your own post and use a ping back so I can find it. 

Forgive me not having joined in the last few weeks. I am drowning. I will play next week.

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Writespiration #83 Black Out

Write About A Black OutSome of you will know that a few weeks ago, I had surgery.

I haven’t had surgery before and I don’t mind admitting, I’m a control freak.

So the prospect of having my life literally suspended with no awareness of what the shit was happening to me for two whole hours, was not something I relished.

In fact, I spent at least three weeks prior to surgery loading my pants with a massive terrified brick. I mean, I was going to die wasn’t I?! Seriously. I thought that. I was convinced I’d never see my son grow up or hold my wife again because they were going to euthanise me with a general anaesthetic. (more…)

Writespiration #82.5 Opening and Closing Lines

Worst Open and CloseIt’s all been a bit serious lately, with heart break, discrimination and cliff edges, so this week something different.

Oh and my math might be bad, but I haven’t spontaneously jumped into decimal numbers for no reason. I’m cheating. I’d already scheduled 83 this week and changed my mind because tomorrow is my birthday and I wanted to play a fun game instead.

So what is this riotous affair I speak of? I’ve done worst opening lines, and worst closing lines before. But this time, I want both.

Your challenge is to write the WORST opening line to a story you can, and then write the WORST closing line to the same story.

The badder it is, the better, if I see even a hint of  good quality writing I’ll disqualify you faster than I can eat a family sized bar of chocolate, and don’t be fooled, that’s fast. Post both lines in the comments, or on your own blog with a ping back here so I know you’ve entered. (more…)

Writespiration #82 Nostalgia That Hurts

NostalgiaThere’s always one. Even when you fall so bone achingly in love that you’d happily tear your ribs open and carve pieces of your heart into a shrine dedicated to your true love…there’s still that one.

They got away. Left. Broke you in a way no time or superglue can ever fix. They are the ones that changed you. Forever. And they’re never coming back. That’s why no matter how much time lapses, no matter how many wrinkles you gather, it will still hurt. It failed and tore everything you knew to pieces.

Maybe it wasn’t a lover, maybe it was a job you lost, or a friend that parted ways, perhaps a parent, or aunt or maybe your first home. Whatever it was, we all have that one thing.

But isn’t there a kind of sick satisfaction in thinking about it? Like picking a scab, it hurts a bit, but its satisfying when you take the head off.

So here’s this weeks challenge:

Write about a nostalgia that hurts in less than 200 words.

This is dedicated to my friend, who hurt, but is now I’m pleased to say, smashing life again.

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Writespiration #81 When Something’s Not What It Seems #1000speak

Not What It SeemsI’m a bitch. I know. You’re not supposed to admit things like that. But I just did.
Let me elaborate. I’m not the: ‘I’ll stab you in the back and claw your your eyes out in order to dry hump your boyfriend’ kind of bitch. Partly because I don’t do sloppy seconds, but also because I’d be stealing your wife not your husband!
I’m more of your silent bitch. The one everyone comes to with: “you’re not going to believe what such and such said. She was all like…. And he was like…. and then I’m all like, he never?!”
No. I’m a bitch cause I sit there nice and quiet. Taking it all in, and then I smile inwardly as I pick a story this latest drama is getting inserted into!
But there’s more to this story…

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Writespiration #80 Utopia

Write About UtopiaI have an obsession with the concept of dystopia. Always have. I like the cloud darkness that comes from chaos and disorder. I like it in an almost sick kind of way. It pushes people to their utmost limits, and I want to know what happens when they get there. I’m practically voyeuristic about it.

Do they break, crumble and fail? Or do they rise up from the ashes of society and become a hero? (more…)

Writespiration #79 Write About The Edge

Write About The EdgeMy son has been driving me insane this week. He is two. Everybody says ‘oh yeah, terrible twos, proper bad them…’

But, no body tells you how bad they really are. Cause trust me when I say, it is fucking horrendous.

My wife needs a medal for her patience and levels of tolerance. Quite frankly it stuns me. See, my frustration is that we are doing everything by the book and by that I mean: the naughty step, only so many warnings etc. We are consistent, constantly refer to each other to ensure we don’t undermine each others authority, back each other up even when we disagree (he doesn’t know that) and our childminder does the same. She uses the same methods, timings and types of discipline. And yet, still he tantrums until he’s blue in the face and trying to vomit!

I know… I know… he’s two, they all do it and he will grow out of it, but seriously… Right now, it doesn’t feel like it. I’m tired and I’m at the edge of both my sanity and my patience.

This week, the challenge is to write a story about the edge, whether that be of your sanity, your patience, the edge of a cliff, maybe even the edge of a blade, whatever that looks like, write about it in less than 200 words. Post your story in the comments below or on your blogs and I will publish it with next weeks entries.

Here’s mine: (more…)

Writespiration #78 Write About A First Kiss

Write About A First kissFirst kisses are hyped up to be this magical, calf lifting, tingly moment. In all honesty, they are usually cold, wet slug infested disappointments.

I remember mine even less fondly than that. I was in the back of a local disco for under 18’s. I forget exactly how old I was, maybe 14. The long-awaited, compulsory slow dance came on a few songs from the end. There’s that moment of sheer panic, every boy and girl in the disco freezes, and casts furtive looks around the room. No ones sure who will grab who and who will suffer the god awful fate of being left on the side.

On this occasion, some stinky teenage boy, from the popular group at school, pounced on me. He latched on with tentacle hands and dragged me (ok, willingly) onto the dance floor. He pulled me in tight like he was cinching a waist band and planted his fat lips on my face.

It was gross. He was like a crazed hoover desperate to suck the oxygen out my lungs. But worse, he then tried to choke me with a slug; his slimy fat tongue flopped in my mouth and I swear it was worst than a pneumatic drill. I have written about slug kisses before I am still not a fan!

Anyway, that’s your challenge, write about a first kiss.

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Writespiration #77 Going To Your Happy Place

Happy PlaceThis week has been miserable. I have had a migraine since Friday last week. Which means I haven’t written since Thursday. I am twitchy! But I was barely able to get out of bed over the weekend and at times, I genuinely thought I might pop an eyeball out, my head was under that much pressure. Every movement I made I could feel my heartbeat in my brain, only instead of a nice pump, pump, pump. It was the smash and squeeze of an anvil followed by a car crusher. Suffice to say I am glad I schedule posts or I’d be fresh out this week.

Finally, I can see straight enough to write this. So, this week, the challenge is to write about your happy place (or a character’s happy place).

I needed my happy place this week. I had to drift off in order to ignore the pain. I have a couple of happy places, one in my head, and several actual locations. New York for one, a cafe by myself, coffee in hand laptop open is another. The summit of Kala Phattar a mountain in the Himalayas with the best views of Everest.

In your challenge, make sure we know what sent you to your happy place, was it a fight? a traumatic experience? Or maybe love drove you there. So, that’s it. Happy places in less than 200 words. (more…)

F*** Balls, Grow A Vagina #1000speak #writespiration 76

A struggleThere’s this phrase, ‘grow some balls’ I hate it. Mostly because I say it all the time! I’ve seen a photo banded round the internet that slates that phrase, suggesting instead, that one actually needs to grow a vagina. Why? Because vaginas are hardcore – baby pushing out – machines. While balls…Balls are… soft, squishy, breakable sperm bags.

Why am I talking about balls and vaginas on my writing blog?! Well, this weeks writespiration happens to fall on a 1000speak day, so you’re going to have to bear with me whilst I waffle on in order to explain the challenge! Every month there is a group of people that come together to write on a theme, the campaign is called #1000speak. This months theme is forgiveness. If you haven’t ever joined in, you should. It’s awesome to take some time out to ponder different things, and to join in a movement based on compassion. (more…)