Weddings

One lesbian against the Church

Today I am aghast that in 2012, there could be so many bigoted, fascists left in this world. I am not naive, in that I appreciate there are extremists and militant views left in the world. However, in a country with such a penchant for freedom and equal rights, how could there still be so many members of society left with such elitist, bigoted views.

I would like to point out that I do know there are many gay people who don’t want ‘gay marriage’ legalised, like the journalist Andrew Pierce: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2158416/I-m-gay-man-opposes-gay-marriage-Does-make-ME-bigot–Mr-Cameron.html 

and thats fine, but I do, and it’s my blog!

In the last couple of days the BBC news and many other stations have been debating whether or not it is ‘right’ to legalise gay marriage.

The Church of England has lashed out savagely at the government and homosexuals releasing a response to the home office consultation. See here: http://www.churchofengland.org/media/1475149/s-s%20marriage.pdf 

The Church starts out by saying that it can’t support the gay marriage proposals. Ok fine. Everyones allowed an opinion… even if it is a bigoted one.

They continue to say: “Marriage benefits society in many ways, not only by promoting mutuality and fidelity” Sorry last time I checked the definition of fidelity  was:

fi·del·i·ty/fəˈdelitē/

Noun:
  1. Faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support.
  2. Sexual faithfulness to a spouse or partner.

I find it a little (when I say a little, I mean ALOT)  insulting that the church is brandishing all homosexuals incapable of fidelity. In fact I think considering 75% of marriages end in divorce, it isn’t ‘gay’ people who are incapable of fidelity.

The Church continues “material inequities between heterosexual and same-sex partnerships have now been satisfactorily addressed.

Now I am not sure who they have consulted or who exactly it is that has judged that inequalities have been address, because it sure as hell ain’t my or millions of other homosexuals views. I won’t start spouting feminist rants now, but women are still not equal in society plus it was only 1992 that the Church of England allowed women priests, women are still not allowed to be bishops (unless your in Massachusetts) and wages are still not equal etc etc.  So I am damn sure that ‘material inequalities’ have not been satisfactorily addressed.

Particularly because legally, civil partnerships DO NOT have the same legal status. I am not allowed to call my civil partnership a marriage, I am not allowed to call her my wife.

More to the point, I thought God was the only one who could ‘judge’.

They continue  “We also believe that imposing for essentially ideological reasons a new meaning on a term as familiar and fundamental as marriage would be deeply unwise.”  (as opposed to the ideological view of marriage with of a man and a women then?… hypocrites) how much more ideological do you want to get?

The Church says “Many, within the churches and beyond, dispute the right of any government to redefine an ages-old social institution in the way proposed.” 

It continues: “The consultation paper wrongly implies that there are two categories of marriage, ―civil‖ and ―religious‖….The assertion that ―religious marriage‖ will be unaffected by the proposals is therefore untrue,”

Firstly there is a difference. Otherwise anyone who wasn’t religious couldn’t get married.

Secondly, the state has for centuries, precisely since the Marriage Act 1753 decreed that non religious people can marry… LEGALLY. CofE might not like it but its true and it’s the law. Get over it!

If you can’t then devolve the church from the state, there are plenty of countries in the EU who have. BUT stop trying to deny humans, equal rights.

 The Church has also said in their consultation response: “Because we believe that the inherited understanding of marriage contributes a vast amount to the common good, our defence of that understanding is motivated by a concern for the good of all in society. “

I think you will find that I (a lesbian) am part of society thank you very much. It would do me the world of good if I could MARRY the women I love. Besides, as I have already pointed out 75% of marriages end in divorce, divorce has been scientifically proven to have a negative effect on children, so how much good can it really do?

Why would I want to get married then? You ask.

Whether or not I want it, really isn’t the point. I should be able to, this is about freedom and equality.

I have heard religious people on the news over the last couple of days say the following:

‘legalising gay marriage will make society and children suffer’

‘it will damage society’

‘But gay marriage, it says, is a step too far. Gay marriage, it says, would be “divisive” and “unwise”.’

I am beginning to use this phrase all too frequently, but serious are you on crack? Two loving parents irrelevant of gender is better than one single parent family or an abusive family unit.

SERIOUSLY being gay is not a choice. If there is a god then he made me this way, and I will stand proud on judgement day. Heck, the bible says that God made us in his image, WELL, wouldn’t that be a turn out for the books, not only could God be a women, but a lesbian; boy would I love to be there on some of the CofE’s judgement day’s to see their faces.

On a serious note, if there is a god, do you really think that he/she is full of hate, who hates anyone who aborts a rape baby, or a gay person, and sees those ‘sins’ as the same as the sins of a ‘pedophile’ I don’t think so. And if he does, then fuck it, I would rather be in hell.

I am not going to rant about the whole of the consultation response but on a last note. They write: “This distinctiveness and complementarity are seen most explicitly in the biological union of man and woman which potentially brings to the relationship the fruitfulness of procreation.

Haven’t they heard of a sperm bank…??!!

Life Fail

I am somewhat, lets call it ‘snowed under’ at the moment.

 

With the wedding a mere couple of months away, a full time job, part-time Masters and therefore assignments literally suffocating me, I am dying. Mostly, dying metaphorically, but it feels real. Plus I swear I found a grey hair… or five.

 

Then theres the normal day to day things which take up an alarming amount of time when you have none; such as cooking, cleaning (and why is the house always messy when you have no time to clean, and more to the point why do you feel the need to clean it when you should be studying *screams procrastination* but if I know its procrastination why can’t I seem to stop tidying instead of studying?!). You have washing (clothes and myself!), feeding the cats, making lunch for work yada yada yada; you get the point, we all have to live.

 

Then when any normal human would have enough to do, my insanity kicks in and I decide to add various things that apparently I do

a) for shits and giggles

and

b) to turn myself grey even quicker

Like attempting to write my first novel, and trying to start up an amateur cake company and lose weight. What the F*** was I thinking, doing these things in my SPARE (ha) time .

 

AND obviously thats before I have a social life. Which I do enjoy.

 

or more importantly a relationship, with the future wife.

 

Basically I am failing in all aspects of life right now.

 

I fell off the side of the planet about 18 months ago

 

Drowned in to do lists months ago

 

Was lost to coffee addiction and exhaustion weeks ago

 

and finally popped my clogs and entered ‘hysteria’ this morning when I had to get up extra early to car share with a colleague, because obviously I can afford to lose another half hours sleep… why not…

 

It’s really not like the cats don’t wake me up on the hour every hour because they can’t decide whether or not they want to be in or out of the house, and without a cat flap, Sacha has to dutifully get out of bed to let them in an out at all hours of the morning! Whos idea was it to have pets anyway, idiot.

 

Whilst I am on this rant, why is it with weddings that you get through one to do list, and twenty more appear… literally? Ok not twenty, but more, definitely more!

 

We finished a to do list, and I must have been momentarily on crack to enjoy the fleeting pleasure that crossing off the last item gave me. Because in that instant the gf turned round and asked me to write another one for all the other things we have to do, the fucking thing was twice as long.

 

And with that, I felt the last shred of hope that was clinging desperately to my soul being ripped out mercilessly!