Forget Resolutions Here’s 4 Reasons to Set Unrealistic Goals This #NYE AND Achieve UNBELIEVABLE Outcomes in 2016

I’ve been asked before how I do so much. How, given everything I already do, like being a mum, working full time, running a house etc. How can I possibly have another interest, hobby or book project.

Well, other than the obvious: not watching much TV, or sleeping… ever. AND drinking too much coffee, I also do this:

I have been told I am too hard on myself, I set standards too high, and I constantly beat myself up. But I’m kind of ok with that. I’ve been reading a couple of self help books, and as they aren’t finished yet I can’t review them. But I can share the psychology.

If I wasn’t that hard on myself or that determined I don’t think I’d  have done half of the things I have this year.

ONE – Mindset

It’s a mindset.

Let’s use an example:

If you want to achieve something big, lets say, 100,000 hits a year. ONLY you can do that. Unless you are mega rich and have an army of slaves to moderate content on your website then only you can create the behaviour needed to reach that goal.

So what do you do? How do you achieve it?

You bust a gut, miss a few episodes of your fave program, you pick up marketing books instead of your precious romance (Sci-FI, comedy, YA or whatever) series, you forget a few friends blogs one week because your buried deep in SEO code. You’re tired at work one day because you were up till 1:30am scheduling tweets, writing quality blog content and designing eye catching images for pinterest.

But then guess what happens.

Your stats start to increase, slowly, at first, but day by day your views go from 63 a day to breaking 100, then 150. But then you hit a blip, something went wrong, the house is a mess the kids screaming. So you miss a few gym sessions to catch up, you have just one more coffee and then to your surprise the blip disintegrates and you reach an average of over 500 a day and all of a sudden not only did you break 100,000 views, but you broke 130,000 views.

100,000 hits a year, if you are just starting out blogging, or with a website, might seem unrealistic. But is it really?


Lets approach the same example differently.

Lets say you set the same goal, but you approach it with a different mindset.

You decide you are going to reach 100,000 hits per year, so you set about it. You start out strong, doing all the things you should, scheduling tweets, and writing quality blog posts. But then you get home one day after a horrendous day at work and the house is a mess, the kids playing up, and your wife (or husband) is going to be home late, so you rush about, trying to control the child’s tantrum whilst cooking with one hand and hoovering with the other. Your temper gets frayed, and you shout at life for cursing you. Why did karma do this to you?

You hurry the kids dinner, scrub their teeth and kiss them goodnight, but then you come downstairs, and you’re feeling exhausted. You see the state of the house and groan with the exhaustion already setting into your bones. You slowly push the broom around and lather the dishes with soap. When you eventually sit down with just an hour to spare, you check social media before opening a novel document when you look up, theres only half an hour before your partners home so you flick the TV on instead and agree you will do the writing tomorrow instead.

Then something happens, you realise your never going to be anything other than shattered. Every day is like this, you can’t change anything, so you decide to set your goal lower, 50,000 is more realistic for the time you have

Only tomorrow never comes, you don’t seem to find time to do the marketing reading you promised yourself, the guilt for taking half an hour to yourself is too much, so you clean the house and run errands instead and blame your partner for not helping.

When the year comes to an end you only reached 45,000 hits. Your disappointed, gutted and feel like a failure and hate your partner just a weeny bit.

But here’s the thing. You still reached 45,000 hits. Almost half way to your goal. And that is not something to be sniffed at.


TWO – The Blame Game

I am a mum, I’m not beating them up I only used it as an example because I am a mum. Both examples have been and are at times, me. I’ve been the one making harried and angry at life for not giving me the time, but at other times I have also been the one at the top.

Sure, I’ve blamed Karma, I’ve been pissed off at the crap that gets in the way, annoyed I can’t afford a cleaner. But if I want to achieve my goals, is a cleaner really going to fix that?

Is a cleaner going to alleviate the time I need to write? Maybe. Probably not. I have a 2 year old. He only needs look at the front door before the house is a mess.

So I stopped making excuses, stopped blaming external things and realised that I… ME… I am the only one that can make my goals happen. No one else. It’s not life’s fault if I am tired and choose to sit down and check social media in the one hour free I get a day. That was a choice I made. I decided to waste my time instead of using it productively.

Right now, I should be tidying the house – and I will have too, but I’m making a choice, I am writing this post, prioritising it over housework because I know that it is driving me closer to my goal. Am I saying don’t do the housework? No. I hate mess! In about 5 minutes I will have to get off my butt and clean – only I will clean like the wind at 100 mph because it just needs to get done and I don’t want to waste precious minutes I could use following my dream.

What’s the point of all this? Why am I saying it and what’s the logic behind it all?

THREE – Decide Who You Want To Be

I’ve been both these people, mostly I’m the first, but I can be the second when life gets too much. But that doesn’t get things done. It doesn’t achieve goals. So for 2016 I want I’m going to be the second. 2016 is my year. I am taking the bull by the horns and making it mine.

I will make choices. I will take control. I won’t blame anything other than myself for mistakes.

If wanting to work full time, being a good mum and wife, having a tidy house, and a social life, completing three novels in a year and running a successful website sounds like too much, then it will be.

Decide You CAN do it, and you will.

Being able to achieve the unachievable is all about deciding you can. This is why I am setting unrealistic goals for next year.

FOUR – The Logic

Here’s the logic:

I’m a chunky butt, right?! The reason I’m a chunky butt? I kept sticking my hand in the chocolate box and didn’t exercise. No one made me. I did that.

If you become the second person, and either only set a timid or “realistic” goal, or wind down your goals to something you think you have time for, then that’s exactly what you will aim for. You won’t push for the top, you won’t reach for the stars, you will work at a moderate pace for a moderate goal.

If you set an unrealistic or unachievable goal, you will work that much harder,  longer and push even more because you know how difficult it will be. That’s how dreams are made, and how how goals are reached. You don’t know what your capable of unless you try.

TheodoreRooseveltYou don’t get to the top because it’s easy. Getting to the top is almost impossible, yet, some people do get there. Is it luck? Maybe, but I doubt it. They made the choice and they worked for it. After all, one of my fave quotes in the world is:

โ€œNothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficultyโ€ฆ I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.โ€

My challenge to you:

  1. Set some (not all) unrealistic goals
  2. Decide you WILL achieve them
  3. Go out, work hard, only blame yourself for your choices
  4. Surprise yourself with how much you can achieve

What are your goals for next year? Let me know in the comments below.


  1. I was the same at your age: I was a single mum for many years, working all day and studying with the OU at night and writing poetry in between. When my daughter left home, I had more time to write but then teaching took over. Now I am retired and I can write when I want. My goal for next year is to get out more, walking and taking photographs for inspiration, and meeting people – retirement can be lonely.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m very lucky not to be a single mum. My mum was and I don’t know how she did it. I have so much respect for single mums.

      I think that sound like a fab goal and I hope it includes coming to the bash in June ๐Ÿ˜‹

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Loved this post! As an avid reader (and writer) of personal development books I totally resonate with everything you say. I consciously started changing my ‘I want/would like’ to ‘I will’ a couple of years ago and saw a huge difference. My mantra is Dream It, Live It, Become It! I’ve just done a closing down ceremony for 2015 so I’m ready to start the New Year with a positive mind frame. It’s very therapeutic to reflect over the low bits and see them for what they were – lessons. Happy New Year to you and your family xxx ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Shelley. Glad you agree. I have started this year so much more positive changing the way I say things. I am trying not to say want, or like to or anything that isn’t 100% affirmative one way or another – I think it helps you not commit to things too unless you are certain you want to do them.

      I really like the idea of a closing down ceremony. I might have to try that. Thanks ๐Ÿ™‚ happy new year

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Okay, you made me do it – so here’s my slightly, but not too, unrealistic goal for 2016: Finish not only the two novels I’m currently working on and the next one (not started) but two more that I don’t even have titles for (and I cannot work without a title). Same time next year…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. WOW. How far through the novels you’re working on are you? 5 novels in one year?? You my friend, are definitely going to have to work hard to do that. I like these goals A LOT. And may 2016 give you everything you need to complete them ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š


  4. 2016 is going to be a hell of a year for me, and right now not sure how I will manage it. All I know for sure, is that a lot of writing will be done as this is the only way I can escape most of what is to come…
    Love this post by the way, you describe most of us, if we are honest…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the reblog ๐Ÿ˜€ I don’t know whether that hell of a year is a good or bad thing. I hope good but it sounds like its bad, so I will send you as much positivity as I can and hope that whatever you face, you have the support of loved ones and happiness at the end of the tunnel.

      Thank you – It’s kind of hard to admit though isn’t it? When I read it back I wasn’t really that comfortable admitting I was often that person.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. PMA, Sacha, that’s what it’s all about. I would say for most people though, setting inter-rim goals make achieving the ultimate goal more likely. Most of us are encouraged by achieving something along the way rather than struggling to reach those loft heights from a standstill. But you have to dream big to get anywhere, and I firmly believe in following ones dreams and making them happen. It often means taking a risk, but better to have failed than to have lived your life never having tried at all, in my opinion! You are right, it’s all mindset, and we can achieve anything if we try!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I have no idea if its most people or not, but each to their own it’s what makes the world so interesting. I know a few people both ways to be fair, so perhaps its 50 / 50. Either way – setting interim goals still fits with this – they would just be equally hard! half way to whatever the ridiculous goal is you know?

      I agree about dreaming. I particularly love that quote.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Right then, here I go. In 2016 I will complete a local history book (it’s been commissioned so I will definitely meet the deadline). I will post more regulalrly on my Goldfish blog (about looking after my father who had dementia) and I will work on turning the blog into a book, which I will publish before the end of the year. I will finish the follow-up novel to No More Mulberries. I will start a new blog so I can help share other bloggers’ posts, which I can’t really do on the dementia blog. I will be more disciplined about social media time and – possibly the most important of all – I will say no to things which threaten to take me away from my goals. Someone once said no is not a four-letter word and I need to remind myself of that on a daily basis. Oh, and I will keep the house reasonably clean.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. er… WOW. That is a serious amount of goals. Good luck, I know you will smash them. I feel so positive having a massive goal to try and achieve – its scary and thats motivating. Than you for sharing your goals. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for your post which made me think about what I want to do and have the courage to state the goals publicly – there’s no going back now!


  7. I was a single dad for several years and, boy, was it a difficult balancing act! Anyway, I think that sounds very sage advice on the resolutions. I probably need to set myself (slightly) unrealistic goals to make sure that I really push hard for them. So, 50,000 views on the blog, publish the novel I’m currently editing, and finish the first draft of my 2nd novel, currently in progress. Happy New Year, Sacha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I dont envy you, I am so grateful for my partner, my mum was a single parent and I don’t know how she did it, she’s my hero.

      well slightly unrealistic still sounds like a stretching goal to me and that is the point! ๐Ÿ˜€

      Good luck Mick – I know you can do it ๐Ÿ˜€ Happy New Year

      Liked by 1 person

  8. What a fantastic, motivational lost, Sacha! I wrote my goals earlier this morning and I’m even more motivated to achieve them after reading this.
    I went for 16 resolutions of varying scales (some more accessible than others for a good balance!) and I have a good feeling! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚
    All the best to you for the new year!! Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Ellie, thank you. 16 is a LOT. I need to add a few more to mine – I had 8 but keep thinking of different things, like you – of varying scale. Hope you achieve them all ๐Ÿ˜€ โค Happy New Year

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well I shared them with my best friend and she actually thought of a few more I’d let slide… Whoops ๐Ÿ˜€
        Do you have yours pinned somewhere visible? I’m torn whether I should or not…

        Liked by 1 person

  9. If you really want something, you have to work super hard at it and never give up.
    I have made many resolutions for the new year (some realistic, some not) and I’m hoping to cut the list down by the next new year. Mostly I just want to get my writing officially off the ground.
    Good luck in the new year!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I 100% agree about working hard. Its essential, and hard, I think too many people give up when it gets tough – I’ve done that before, but never again and definitely not this year. I wish you every success with getting it off the ground.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. This is a pretty intimidating thought, considering I make those excuses all the time. I’m not a mother, but I’m a student who spends most of her time trying to get ahead of material. I try to set goals every year, but they always get drowned by “Oh, I deserve to rest because I just finished that essay.” And then I watch Netflix for 6 hours. I’m hoping to accomplish big things this year. I think I’ll try to accomplish unrealistic goals…well, at least one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think you are right. It is an intimidating thought, but one I am trying to swallow no matter how scary. You sound like me with a full on plate of things to do. I hope you achieve your goals and a happy new year to you ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    1. well I’m thinking of you and sending you a bit of blog love. Hey – have you heard about the bloggers bash? I know you’re super far away up in the North there, but I organise an annual bloggers bash – this year is on the 11th June – in London – LOTS of bloggers go from all over the world and this year is going to be bigger and better than ever before. I would love to meet you ๐Ÿ™‚


  11. My goal may seem pretty easy to some. For me it’s to stop worrying about things that don’t matter. I’ve also set myself a goal to visit people more often instead of sitting all day in front of a computer.

    “Don’t come and see me and bring me flowers when I’m dead, come and see me and bring me flowers while I’m alive.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, I think thats a hard thing to do – especially if its engrained in you to worry. Anything that is against what you normally do is ac challenge – also I have to say I love your goal of visiting people – I constantly have to remind myself my life is outside of my laptop!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. My goal for 2016 is to get my novel ready for publishing, work on my other writing projects and continue to develop my photography, building up a following on Instagram, and last but not least keep my blogging ticking over nicely. You’re so right though goals are hard to achieve and need oodles of hard work and determination.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Marje, instagram is where its at at the moment, I still haven’t got to grips with it – I understand the concept and have several photos on there – but I struggle to understand how it would work for a writer – when you can’t embed links to your stuff. PLEASE tell me if you understand more, I am ignorant when it comes to instagram.

      I think your goals sound amazing ๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you Sacha. I am new to Instagram too, and I am tending to use it as a way to promote my general creative aims and amateur photography. But, you’re right as far as I understand it you can’t embed links which is a bit frustrating.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Awesome post! Awesome goals! Gonna watch you make 2016 your Biatch, lol! We have to set big goals to keep pumped and motivated. Then, when we don’t meet a few, human instinct is to beat ourselves up over the few we’ve missed. That’s what we have to learn to get past. It’s when we’ve only attained a few that we should be getting harsh on ourselves! Now let’s see how much we can get done! xo ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Debby – I haven’t posted my goals up yet as I haven’t finished them – think I’m on 13 or something ridiculous – but all of varying degrees of difficulty – need some achievable or I will collapse under the weight!

      You are totally right about beating ourselves up – but I think thats what I have come to realise – if we set the bar high then whether we hit it or not – we have still done amazing and worked towards our goal – so we WIN. :p

      p.s. hahaha, I am so going to own this year! and it really will be my biatch! hahahaha. I already know you’re guna do the same ๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Lucy – ah its hard isn’t it – I hated admitting that the second one was at times me too. WOW I love that goal, I am looking forward to reading it – are you editing now? Are you indie or trad pubbing it?

      Liked by 1 person

  14. We all probably need to prioritize more than we do. It’s hard to fit so much into so little time. There is always the unexpected. Social media is a time drain, but if we schedule our day, put the most important tasks up front, and plan everything else around them, we can do it. But the problem is, life gets in the way of the best schedule. We all just need to do our best to stick to the plan.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree – and to be fair – there isn’t really ever an easy answer to having no time and I 100% agree with you – the best laid plans and all that.

      Happy New Year Michelle btw, hope this one is fabulous. โค

      Liked by 1 person

  15. You are a powerhouse and life-juggler, Sacha. What determination. I think it’s pretty cool that you’ve found a system that works for you, and so much of that is understanding that the responsibility for our lives belongs to each of us and we always have choices. ๐Ÿ˜‰ It is the key to happiness on many levels. Be gentle with yourself too. โค

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And you are simply lovely Diana ๐Ÿ™‚ what a nice thing to say *blush* I’ll be honest – I am good at being kind to others, not so much for myself. Maybe I should have made that a goal…. there’s always next year! Until then, where’s my whip! :p

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The novels are romances set in the Regency. One of them needs only a little work, the second I’ve been working on over Christmas and I now know where it’s going and I have a rough draft of the third.
        Good luck with the weight loss. My first day was rubbish, but not as bad as it might have been.


  16. Such a great post, Sacha! In the end, while we can;t change some of the things that happen to us, a lot of what we achieve comes down to choice and how we look at things. Change comes from within…

    Liked by 1 person

  17. MIndset is important. Toss the bar up high – and you’ll go farther. Keeping focus. Prioritizing. And rolling with the punches. Don’t beat yourself up – there are plenty of people who will do that for you ( and remember those people are the ones who do not matter at all)
    Every morning is the beginning of The Great Adventure. Don’t let it slip by. Don’t wish your life away. Be there and be moving on.
    Inspiring, practical post (perfect Roosevelt quote)
    MAy your new year be filled with wondrous adventures, much laughter, and great delight

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aloha, I think that, “Donโ€™t beat yourself up โ€“ there are plenty of people who will do that for you” is so true. Thats a truth that too many of us forget too often. And I agree – I am terrible at not being present or mindful – comes with always watching that end goal – so thank you for the lovely reminder.

      I hope your New Year is also full of adventure and joy.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. I need to give this a proper thinking through but I hate to leave without dropping a comment so …internal fight with myself about leaving realistic goals or sitting here and banging out unrealistic goals dammit….ok, so my unrealistic goals for 2016 are to spend less and less time playing games on my Kindle Fire and accelerate my current momentum to 1) finish de-cluttering my house, find a new job, break 50,000 views on my blog 2)organize my art studio area 4)find a new job 5) get the photos and prices for my paintings up on my art website, 6) create 10 new pieces of art that I’m really happy with and 7) get myself to the Art is You mixed media art retreat in Stamford Ct again this October. Thanks for pulling that out of me Sacha!


    1. Well this method isn’t for everyone. I read a number of posts that said the complete flip side! (Stamford in the UK???) I think you have some seriously good goals and thats a piece of art a month basically, so that will be stretching without the others. I think even the act of verbalising stuff like this makes it more likely you will do it. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No, Stamford, Connecticut over here. You’re right about the piece of art per month and I haven’t lifted a brush since the beginning of December. I have something started and about halfway there but I hate it suddenly so I backed away. This convo is reminding me though that it’s normal for most of us to hate a piece at this point and after stepping back, work through it. I was kidding about the stalking by the way. I might drive by your house once or twice if I was there but that’s the extent….


      2. It’s funny though isn’t it that when I write a piece or comment off the cuff as I do here I am supremely confident b/c I’m honestly conveying what I’m feeling or thinking at the time of the writing. With my art, I’m often pleasantly surprised when someone falls in love with a piece I considered just ok. The art thing is more comparable to other than blog writing off the cuff I think.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s