Psycho Sach

1960, Psycho

 

Don’t feel like talking much, I am trying really hard to stay positive. I feel like a psycho. Up one minute down the next. Same shit as last time, think I am pregnant one minute, convinced I’m not the next.

Much less stressful this time, because pretending your positive eventually makes you feel temporarily positive. But the two weeks is taking an achingly long time to go.

In the morning I will be 4 Days post IUI, and 8 days till I am due on…

This time feels longer than the last.

I hate waiting.

Not only am I waiting to test, but I am also waiting for an appointment with the NHS again. It’s beyond frustrating, I am on a waiting list, for an appointment, just for a fucking appointment. During this appointment, I will just be referred to an IVF clinic. Which means I will go on another waiting list.

I wont get an appointment for the referral appointment until the end of April. Which means I wont go on a IVF waiting list till May at the earliest.

 

HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE WAITING

silently_waiting-t2

 

Why can’t I just be pregnant already?

I want to cry.

7 comments

  1. Ah, waiting. I don’t know if it feels the same for you, but ever since we started trying, it’s just felt like waiting is all we do, constantly either waiting for treatment or in 2ww. I’m not great at waiting! I really hope it works for you this time x

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  2. Yep, thats exactly what it feels like. I have a short cycle, so everything is in 12 or 14 day cycles. Its driving me and the wife nuts. The cost of a million IUIs is so painful. If its not waiting to take a test, its waiting to do an IUI, or the continuous NHS IVF waiting lists. I am so sick of waiting. :*( I can be positive for so long, and then one day I will just have a bad day… today is a bad day 😦

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  3. You are totally right Sacha. Waiting is a B*tch. And with the financial/personal/emotional costs that come with each try, the tolerance to wait drops every time. You are owed some bad days in all of this. Lord knows my wife has had enough of them already. I really hope your wait isn’t much longer.

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