So, I am 4 dp IUI. I decided that I do far too much talking, and that my wife (Mrs. Black) often gets forgotten. Often she’s forgotten in the UK because our equality is not as progressed as many of the European countries, but also because she’s not going to carry the baby. But what I guess a lot of people forget is that she is going through this too.
So here, is an interview with Mrs. Black:
Me: So, Mrs. Black (giggle) how are you feeling about everything today?
Mrs. Black: um, confused. I just want an answer.
Me: can you elaborate some more?
Mrs. Black: I suppose, I never realised how much this means to us, and how much we want it. But at the same time its scary financially and how much it is going to change our lives.
Me: How are you finding the medical procedures?
Mrs. Black: I think Denmark are great. They are very equality driven. They made us feel so comfortable, and allowed me to push the syringe, so if you fall pregnant, I’d have done the business!
Me: how are you finding being on the other side of the medical procedures?
Mrs. Black: well, London didn’t really make me feel like I was a part of it. They just spoke at you. Whereas in Denmark, they made me feel like I was a part of making our baby.
Me: and thats important to you?
Mrs. Black: Thats really fucking important to me!
Me: How do you feel about the fact that I have fertility issues?
Mrs. Black: Makes no odds really, because we were always going to have problems, because it’s not like we can do it naturally. I always thought it was going to be difficult anyway.
And if I am honest, I wasn’t sure if I wanted kids until I met you anyway!
Me: Do you ever experience the emotional roller coaster that I am going through?
Mrs. Black: I don’t think I experience exactly the same emotions as you. I have my own rollercoaster. As I just don’t ever stop thinking about it.
Me: How does that make you feel? Tired? Angry?? what emotions are you feeling in your rollercoaster?
Mrs. Black: within my rollercoaster, I feel tired. Like mentally tired. I feel a bit impatient too. Yeh, I spend most of my time feeling impatient. I JUST WANT TO KNOW!!
Me: Are you afraid of anything?
Mrs. Black: If I am honest, one of the only things I am afraid of, is us never being able to become parents. But worst, if we do become parents, what if our kids hate us?
Me: babe its ‘KID’ singular!!, stop saying ‘kids’ haha.
Mrs. Black: haha, sorry I know, I know, I need to stop jinxing us. You know what I mean. Kid…. Anyway, I guess the other thing I am afraid of is our child having nothing in common with me, as it doesn’t have any of my genetics.
Me: What impact has this had on our relationship?
Mrs. Black: I think its actually brought us closer. It’s made us communicate a lot more. But then saying that, we both have our own quiet times, when we both just get lost in our own thoughts.
Me: What kind of support do you think you need? As people always think about the women carrying a baby
Mrs. Black: I just want people to remember me, and that I am in this too. But at the same time, I just want to make sure your alright.
Me: aww, your so sweet 🙂 Ok, finally then, what advice would you give to other couples going through this situation?
Mrs. Black: Never allow anyone to say ‘no’. And even though it’s probably one of the most scariest things you can do, when you’re there and your about to have treatment, all that worry disappears and you know your doing the right thing.
Me: Any final thoughts?
Mrs. Black: My final thought? Is even though its been hard and extremely emotional so far, it hasn’t made me any less determined.
Well that’s it folks! If any one has any questions, feel free to ask!