Month: January 2013

The Liebster Award

The Liebster Award

Despite a pretty crappy start to the New Year, I was delighted to find that the artofstumbling had nominated me for the Liebster Award.

As part of the Liebster Award, nominees are required to make nominations for the blogs they feel should be recognised.

“The Liebster Award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers.  The word ” Liebster” comes from German and can mean the sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, most beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.”


  • Thank the person who nominated you. Thanks artofstumbling. Made my day 🙂
  • When you receive the award, you post 11 random facts about yourself and answer the 11 questions asked by the person who nominated you.
  • Pass the award onto 11 other blogs (while making sure you notify the blogger that you nominated them!)
  • You write up 11 NEW questions directed towards YOUR nominees.
  • You are not allowed to nominate the blog who nominated your own blog!

Eleven Random Facts:

  1. I came ‘out’ twice! once at 16, (then crawled back in the closet due to a conservative home town) and once again at university.
  2. I ran into a boy at school who was wearing glasses and when he pulled away the glasses were stuck in the side of my head!
  3. I have two adorable cats
  4. I recently discovered I have a diminished ovarian reserve.
  5. I have my NRA marksman
  6. I have trekked to Mt Everest Base Camp
  7. I was one of the main characters on a TV programme as a child.
  8. I am terrified of boats
  9. I eat crumpets upside down, because I dont like all the dots
  10. Monsters inc. is my fave kids film.
  11. I am obsessed with shoes!


 My nominees and my new questions for my nominees:

1. 2cagedbirds (for her brutally honest love, that I pray she can one day have openly)

2. Stormsilvermane (for his friendship)

3. QueerLandia (for their amazing pledge to bring current news, opinions and information to the LGBT community

4. TillyJean (for her always interesting feminist thoughts)

5. Verbalbanter (for always being strong and surviving no matter what)

6. Gaybymama (for their wonderful family and stories)

7. saradraws (cause she makes me laugh)

8. KiraMoore (for her journey and beautiful poetry)

9. D.C (for writing a fascinating blog about being gay and African)

10. JacquiMurray (for always inspiring me to write on)

11. Dearbutchlovefemme (because I love everything about this blog, its humour, and truthfulness!)

My Answers

1. What’s your favourite book?

virtually impossible to answer, I love loads top two: Day of the triffids and the solitare mystery

2. Your favourite film?

even harder, top three, house of flying daggers, the last samurai and the matrix.

3. Do you have any nicknames?

yes, but if i told you id have to kill you!

4. Do you play any musical instruments?

Not any more, I played the Cello for 7 years, played the piano, and violin, tinkled with the guitar.

5. Have you ever had surgery?

wisdom teeth removed thats about it…

6. What’s your favourite food?


7. What are you afraid of?

spiders, boats and tiny dots!

8. What’s your proudest moment?

Probably reaching Mt Everest Base Camp on my trek, or getting a first class degree.

9. Your favourite item of clothing?

I own 17 black tank tops, and I love every single one! (and my Kurt Geiger heels!)

10. Your favourite song?

anything dubstep. currently like the gemini remix of Ed Sheerans ‘you need me i dont need you’

11. Favourite TV show?

L word or the west wing


11 New questions for them. (And anyone else who wants to answer, just because they are that fun! and I’m interested in your answers)

1. If you could only visit one country where would it be?

2. If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, with no ill effects what would it be?

3. fave TV series

4. why do you blog/write?

5. whats the dream you still havent fulfilled yet?

6. who did you hurt that you never meant to and what did you do?

7. most inspirational novel you’ve read and why did it inspire you?

8. If you were a super hero who would you be?

9. What three words describe you?

10. whats the one thing guaranteed to cheer you up when your down?

11. whats the craziest thing you have ever done?

In pieces… Infertile

A little while ago, we went to a fertility show, just as a curious newly we’d lesbian couple. Just to see how much it might all cost.

They were giving out half price initial consultations including an internal scan. One of the exhibitors mentioned a test they can do to see how fertile you are… AMH – A hormone released by follicles in your ovaries.

There was no reason on Earth that a 25 year old should have that test. 25 year olds are generally in their prime but something told me to go to the appointment and get the AMH test (which was an extra 100 can I just add)

The clinic and the wife all tried to stop me getting the test saying your fine your young, no family history, lots of pregnancies etc etc. but something kept telling me to take it. So I did.

Scans came back normal lovely womb you have there the doc said!

The AMH – an indication of your egg reserve came back in a very low response group….

The clinic called me back thinking they had made a mistake and re-tested me for free and asked me to take a whole bunch of other tests. FSH, LH, and oestradiol. All hormone tests, which came back fine.

But my AMH came back even lower… Negligible…. That was New Years Day.

So today I got told that means I will be going through a very early menopause… Late twenties early thirties….

When I showed the doctor my results he actually swore… I’ve never heard a doctor swear before.

“Shit, that is low…. I’m referring you for urgent high priority IVF” the doc said.

I might only have a year or two supply of eggs left.

I’m 25.

I’m not sure what to write. I am an erratic eclectic mix of emotions.


I’ve cried on an off for 2 days. One minute I’m fine the next I’m in pieces.

Doc said that I have to go for IVF now or it will be too late…

Too late… I’m 25.

We only went to the clinic as a random fact finding mission… I am not a huge believer of fate… But something told me to get that test… If I hadn’t I would never have known and it would have been too late.

I am hoping beyond hope that it’s not too late.

I don’t even think I’m ready for a baby… It wasn’t meant to be now… I was meant to buy a house… Go travelling… Go out….

I don’t know.

How life can change in an instant

I’m still waiting for that moment when someone turns round and says “only joking” but it’s not happened… And then I got referred for IVF… That’s when it became serious.

I just… I can’t…

Why me?

I’m broken, half a women. What’s wrong with me!

I am in pieces.