Month: September 2012

Three parent families… Genetically

I wrote this post on QueerLandia yesterday hoping that it would generate some discussion, but it hasn’t so I thought I would blog it here, and add some more too it as well, in the hope it generates more discussion.

I saw this in the news a couple of weeks ago, and have been meaning to blog about it for a little while. I am hoping it generates a discussion….

The news reported that some scientific trials to make three parent embryos have taken place, and the UK has now launched a consultation on the matter.

The trials have been coined ‘three-parent in vitro fertilisation’ (IVF) because the offspring would have genes from a mother, a father and from a female donor, who donates some of her DNA.

The original purpose is to prevent some genetic diseases from being passed on. In particular mitochondrial diseases that are passed on genetically through the maternal line and are incurable. So they take out the culprit DNA and replace it with the female donors DNA.

One reporter poses the following questions about this:

how is a child born from this sort of technique might feel?; whether the child should be told?; whether their sense of identity might be affected?; what the rights of the female donor might be?; whether the donation of mitochondrial DNA should be viewed as similar to egg or sperm donation, or more like blood or tissue donation?; and who should decide who can access the treatments?

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/three-parent-embryos-unnerve-ethicists/article4553114/ 

They claim it raises ethical issues because it is the first step to creating designer babies. I am not sure how I feel about that.

Having recently got married, babies are  definitely on my radar, I have been to a fertility show recently and the options are vast.  We both went in thinking we wanted to do it a certain way, and came out totally confused and completely unsure of how we wanted to conceive. Like did you know that a heterosexual couple only has a 10-14% of getting pregnant at any one time. Therefore the same chances can be applied to IUI (intrauterine insemination) if you do it without drugs that is. With the aid of drugs some clinics claim their chances of getting you pregnant are as high as 40%. I have to say I left feeling pretty pessimistic and naive about the whole affair. I had gone thinking it wouldn’t be a walk in the park, and would cost a lot but I certainly didn’t have any concept of how slim the chances are in relation to how much it would cost. Because its either low chances of fertility or you need to remortgage your house in order to afford it.

ANYWAY

I will be the carrier, my wife has no interest in carrying, BUT, I am desperate to have a child that is genetically both of ours. At the moment that cannot happen, or so I thought. This is why when I saw this article and heard it on the news, my ears immediately pricked up. For me the question isn’t so much about designer babies, but about the opportunities this brings to homosexual people. Does this mean that my wife and I could both parent a child??

Could two men both genetically parent a child??

Is that right? Is it ethical? Is it moral?

I want the answer to be yes, but maybe I am being selfish and only thinking about how desperate I am to carry both mine and my wifes genetic child. Is that right, should I be thinking that way? To me, it doesn’t seem like an ethical problem but a gift, and a miracle.

I would be very interested in what everyone else thought……???????

Sacha lost her mojo

so, I am not sure what wrong with me, but i am feeling particularly like Austin Powers at the moment, except the bad Austin, the Austin who has lost his mojo.

I have been married for precisely 1 month today, and I haven’t seemed to be able to do anything yet. It took me three weeks to recover from the wedding, and not wake up feeling exhausted. Then I got ill, recovered – just- and then got ill again, today I feel better although I am still pretty sniffly.

But the problem is I seem to be living in some sort of nowhere zone.

I cant seem to bring myself to do anything. Literally. I am just surviving…. again. I swear I was doing this before the wedding, and now its over I seem to have slipped back into it.

I’m not writing, I’m not reading, I’m not gyming, I’m not baking, I’m literally not doing anything.

I lost my inspiration, my muse and my mojo.

If anyones found it…. Please return it to me!!

Friday Fails…

Everything anyone has ever said about weddings is true. Especially the come down.

I genuinely had the worst case of man flu that has ever existed….True story!!

I felt particularly sorry for myself, but I have now sucked it up, manned up,  and I am well on the road to recovery.

That is, except for the extreme exhaustion I am still feeling. This is a whole other level of exhaustion, it’s some kind of nasty life sucking, energy draining beast.

I can’t even think clearly, I am desperate to blog properly again, but I can barely drag… and I do mean drag myself out of bed, let alone blog. Whatismore, for medical reasons I am having to withdraw from caffeine…

This has led me to do a really good impression of death warmed up right now, I am also throwing in a pinch of the lights are on but no ones home just for good measure. I am not functioning. I don’t understand sentences, I cant text and this blog will ruin me for at least a few days!! 😛

Basically I am so tired I am totally incapable of doing anything… Apparently I am not young enough to do a typical Sacha and burn the candle at both ends and in the middle, and get away with it. I am paying a steep price… I look like the kid in the picture!!

 

Today was an epic failure, but Friday was so so much worst.

Friday…

Actually Thursday night…. We went for dinner with some friends and the usual Gran Canaria pride chat  came up again. After much discussion it was decided that like this year we would all go.

This year was epic, there was a group of about 10-15 of us that went, and it was genuinely one of the best weeks of my life. Anyway. I go to book the hotel, pay for it, and then realise I have booked the wrong dates. Fuck.

I ring the hotel in Gran Canaria, try to have a Spanglish type conversation and establish that its too early and I need to ring the travel company and sort it with them. Which I do and just about get it sorted after some serious fannying about on their behalf.

So I search for flights but can only find flights for the furthest airport away from us. ugh. But decide that I would rather book early than wait for the price to go up just so I can get a closer airport.

I book the flights, and go to bed happy.

Friday morning…

I wake up seriously bleary eyed and had to forcibly rip myself from my cosy warm bed and into the shower. Whilst I am showering I realise that I feel like something is wrong with the booking.

I pick up my mac and open the receipt page for the booking, everything looks fine. I open up the web page to manage my booking and to my horror, they have messed up my surname… (we have double barrelled btw). So I am particularly irritated at this point already seeing as I fucked up booking the hotel. I ring the stupidly expensive phone line and get half way through sorting the problem and the phone gets cut off.

RAGE.

It is at this point that I look back at the web page and utter horror washes over me, as I look at the dates.

I booked the wrong fucking dates.

How did I do that?

HOW CAN I DO THAT????…. twice?? for gods sake.

I go back to the search page just to make sure I am not going insane and I did actually search for the right dates its just the piece of shit web companies mistake for showing the wrong flights… and possibly mine for not double checking. *cough*

At this point, I am having to really suppress Hulk back down. I am also  late for work, have no caffeine, no breakfast and I need to ring the company to sort this out.

I get on the phone to one of them and they tell me to ring the airline direct.

More rage.

The airline tells me thats no problem they will change the dates and my name and wipe the admin fee… but the flights are more expensive. like £90 more expensive.

Not happy.

It is at this point I am now REALLY late for work, and I go to gather up my bag and stuff for work. I get flustered because I have had no breakfast and now cant find my wallet.

The wife rings… “Babe I just found your wallet in my car… do you need it?”

RAGE.

Of course I need it. So instead of going to work, I have to drive to her work to pick up my wallet first.

I check my diary to make sure I am not going to be late for a meeting and just my luck I have a 9:30am meeting booked in. Luckily its with someone who is ALWAYS late, or just doesnt turn up. Plus they didnt accept the meeting request, so I am pretty sure that they wont be coming.

I run into work throw my laptop on the desk and ring the guy I am meant to be meeting, who of course, today….is waiting for me in the canteen. Fuck.

So I have to run to the canteen, I get three quarters of the way there and realise I left the single most important piece of paperwork I needed in the office. At this point I am sweating and flustered. So I have to bolt back to the office rifle through a mountain of papers just to find one thing!!

When I get there. He has the smelliest, most tasty looking coffee, and I am beyond envious. withdrawal is not fun.

The last fail I managed to rack up on Friday was epic on a huge proportion.

I like to think of myself as technologically ‘with it’ I know how to use most technology without being told how, I like techy things, and generally I am very careful about which profile I use to say what.

Apparently, not when I am tired.

I managed to tweet my boss from my Sacha_black profile without realising, and inadvertently gave him access to my blog, my twitter, my rants… everything. #fml.

I just need to sleep. But my cats like to see to it that they get fed at ridiculous o clock in the morning, or let out, or in, whenever they see fit even if its at 2,3,4 or 5 am.

Even my work mate turned round to me today and said…

“mate… dont take this the wrong way… but you look like shit!!”

Great.

Sacha has a wife!!

After a short break from blogging due to the wedding of the year… cough cough, yes I do mean mine! I am finally back! Although somewhat exhausted and dishevelled.

I am now a wife, and I have a wife!! Where do I even start…

So its the morning before the wedding, I am beyond rushed off my feet and I have gotten up extra early in order to pick my dad up from the airport, after having not gone to bed until ridiculous o clock making the wedding cakes. I wake up groggy and exhausted throw clothes on in the dark, and just as I am looking for my glasses and keys my dad rings telling me he has missed his flight.

RAGE

You can imagine my frustration at this news. I had zero time that day as I had back to back jobs, appointments and errands to do. He said he was going to try and get on to another flight, but I still wouldn’t of been able to go and get him from the airport as he missed his time slot in my minute by minute schedule!!!  So I had to ring around my friends and bridesmaids and try and harass one of them into doing it! which luckily I managed to do.

The night before the wedding I went out for a meal with some of my friends and with my dad. It was nice, although its a total blur now as it much of the day itself. I woke up at  4:45am the morning of the wedding in a massive panic about table names, and then couldn’t fall back to sleep, as I started stressing about all sorts of things.

When I got to the venue at 8:30am coffee in hand feeling somewhat bleary eyed, I went to get my cakes out to set them up to realise part of the front had fallen off. I managed to persuade the venue to let me use their pastry kitchen. So at 8:30am morning of the wedding I was in the kitchen throwing icing all over the place and trying to fix my cakes. It ended up EVERYWHERE!!! all over me, all over my joggers in my rollers, literally everywhere!! Suffice to say after dragging in my bridesmaids to hold this and cover that we managed to fix them and it was all good.

(did I mention that I made these…!!! So proud of myself!!! lol)

On a serious note, if you ever get married, pay someone to do the lot!! It’s not worth the stress of doing it yourself!

Now I didnt have much money left so I wanted to do something for my future wife and give her some small present that was a romantic gesture. Not being the most romantic person in the world that was particularly hard! However, I found in a little shop a black and red zebra print heart, so I decided to buy it, wrap it and send it down with a bridesmaid (because we didnt see each other the morning of or night before the wedding) with a card that said:

Today I am giving you my heart forever, please keep it safe

Well anyway I thought it was sufficiently soppy, and I was sufficiently pleased with myself.

She wrote me the most romantic letter I have ever received it was beautiful, touching and completely unexpected, she has dyslexia and therefore avoids writing most of the time as it frustrates her. However, she spent hours pouring over this letter and it was just beautiful and brought tears to my eyes.

With the cakes and sweet table complete:

My jobs for the morning were done and I could go and get ready. Which I did, and got slightly typsy as well, the wife (love saying that now!) sent up a glass of rose, and my mum had brought some seriously expensive champaign and strawberries.

In true british style it then went from glorious sun shine to pouring down with rain and so I got seriously upset. Control freak that I am everything was going swimingly, apart from the blasted rain. Which apparently as much as I will I still cant control. So we ended up getting married inside, which  I was disappointed about, but it made the wedding much much more intimate, so it turned out fine anyway.

Much to my surprise, because I am basically emotionless and my partner cries much much more often than me, she stayed perfectly tearless and I let out a few tears during the ceremony. I am still gobsmacked. More to the point I think I opened a flood gate, because I proceeded to cry for the following three days, my best friend emigrated to Oz so cried then, and for various other bits and bobs too!!

The ceremony was beautiful. Everything was perfect. The meal and reception were perfect.

We had so many compliments it was delightful.

 

I have now been married 10 days 🙂 and I am extremely happy, and relaxed, if not exhausted because we got married on the wednesday and went back to work on the Monday, honeymoon is later in the year. So this weekend I am trying to stay as restful as possible!!!

You know… I thought I would feel the same. In our relationship. But I dont. Somethings different, better, more secure, teamy, solid, I cant put my finger on it just yet, but I will keep trying….